riding in buses, oh fantastic memories!

well amigos the time has come to jumpstart this blog thing again. i am currently in lima, peru (for the second stint in the past week or so) awaiting the arrival of ali, my brother and serena, his girlfriend. the city is big, smelly and a bit rundown and , for these reasons alone, i am enjoying it immensely.

my travels in south america started on a bit of a sour note. after a week of not really being able to hold down any food (thanks morocco), i boarded the plane with a twisted stomach and the uneasiness that comes with traveling while sick. fortunately, the flight went by very quickly thanks to the hilarious stories of the woman next to me, who described herself as a ¨worse version of celine dion who gave up her dreams of becoming a pop star to raise a family with a recovering alcoholic in a small hicktown in canada that is probably not even on googlemaps¨. she had a lot of funny stories about being on tour and in the studio in the 80s, as well as partying with the members of fleetwood mac and journey. eventually i asked her why she was heading down to peru, to which she replied, ¨to fit amputees with prostethic limbs¨(an obvious activity for a former pop star wannabe and cocaine addict).

i spent my first day in lima in bed, still feeling pretty shitty. eventually, i got up and looked out the window to see if anything was going on. i discovered a line of combis (small buses that look like a cross between old toyota previa mini-vans and the terribly described ¨special ed¨buses from elementary school) honking their horns with people pouring out from the windows and doorways, holding on for dear life. it was time to see the city.

as many of you know, riding public transportation in south america is an adventure in itself. while living in santiago two years ago, i was a passenger on at least three buses that were involved in substantial collisions during my daily commute to school. one such crash was of a large enough magnitude to cause me to rush off of the bus and barf on the sidewalk due to the sudden impact and halt (note: this incident followed a long night of dancing and pisco consumption, so it was not entirely the bus' doing).

i decided to try my luck with the peruvian buses. boarding the combis is a process worthy of a deeper sociological study. basically, buses dart in every direction possible while honking their horns to attract the attention of potential customers. once someone on the sidewalk expresses interest in catching a ride, a horde of buses fights for the space in front of the person to pick him/her up (note: the buses are not state-run and the drivers and workers do not receive a fixed salary, so the more passengers a combi picks up, the more its employees earn). often times, the bus is still in motion when you board it, so there is a small man that stands halfway in the doorway and halfway outside the bus to physically pick you up and place you on the stairwell of the bus. to exit the bus, you are sometimes assisted by the small man, who gives you a bit of a one-armed shove out of the doorway. as i learned on my first ride, it is essential to spot your landing prior to the push because there always exists the potential of being led into a moving car or into a hole. also, the bus rarely comes to a complete halt, so there is a high chance that the velocity from the bus will carry you past your desired landing spot.

my favorite aspect of the combis in lima is that regardless of where your destination is, the combi goes there. by this i mean that the small man working the door (whose other primary duty is to continually shout the route of the combi for hours on end in a nasal, indistinguishable battlecry) will usually tell you that the combi goes where you want to go without the least bit of hesitation, making it seem as though he is telling the truth. however, it soon becomes apparent that he is lying through his teeth when you end up on the opposite side of town where no other combis pass, requiring you to either walk or hail a taxi.

all of this makes for a great way to pass an afternoon and to get a feel for the city. i just hope that one of these days i get to where i´m trying to go.